SOMEONE IN BUSINESS MAKE YOU STEAMED? TAKE 15 TO REGROUP

Stop screaming....call POSITUS!

More frequently than we often want to admit, working in the small business world is a blood pressure soaring, ulcer inducing, tantrum flaring proposition. Learning how to take a step back from frustrating situations is something I still have to take in baby steps every time, though the accumulation of baby steps over the past few years has taken me far.

When something happens now that makes me steamed, I use my own 15 minute approach to big picture thinking to handle it (even if I’ve already taken my 15 for that day). I haven’t always handled trying situations this way, but I’ve learned this is the best system for me. Maybe it will help some of you, too.

1. I allow myself to feel whatever it is I need to feel – to a point. Beyond a certain point, I’m giving the situation too much control. Take a few minutes to feel justifiably steamed as part of your “Take 15.”
2. I used to write letters that I should’ve put in a drawer. The act of getting the information out on paper or in an e-mail was helpful for me. Today, I actually put those things in a drawer and don’t hit send. I still feel better for having said it, if only to myself. This usually works well for me in conjunction with number 1 above.
3. Talk it out. Find someone you trust who can listen to you vent without judgment. Absent that, find an empty space where you can be alone and vent your frustrations aloud. (Yes, I actually admitted that talking to myself sometimes helps me, so there you go.)
4. Use your 15 minutes to process emotion and decide to sleep on it before doing/saying/feeling anything. Many times, I’ve found that a tiny passage of time totally changes my entire perspective on a situation, causing me less stress overall.
5. Know when to let it go. If you’re “Taking 15″ over a particular situation every 15 minutes for several days or weeks, it is way past time to let it go. Within 2 or 3 days, the “Take 15″ approach should help clear your head, process stress and provide a concrete plan of action.
6. Keep your end goal in mind. Knowing what I ultimately want from someone in a business situation can help temper my reactions to interim bumps in the process. Sometimes, it is the only thing that makes a difference about whether to say something to get what I want right this minute from the situation or to let it go.

While these things all seem elementary, they tend to go out the window for many of us in the heat of the moment. Taking 15 to regroup can make all the difference.

Since people are different, something may work for you in stressful situations. What do you do when someone makes you steamed? Post your comments here to give everyone more good ideas.